An Anxious Fair Weekend

This weekend was my mom’s birthday.  And we had a great time.  My Uncle and cousin had come up Friday. So we went out to my grandma’s house to see them.  But Saturday was my moms actual birthday. Taylor really wanted to go to the fair. So that’s what we did.

My Mom, Ashley, Taylor and I went out to the fair early that afternoon.   Ashley couldn’t ride any of the rides since she is pregnant, my mom doesn’t like spinning rides, so that left me taking Tay on all of the rides.  It was fun. Except for the fact that, heights are of the three things that cause my anxiety attacks. The other two are the dark and crowds.  All of the rides, take you up super high.

I did ok on the first few rides, They all seemed to go up high, but my anxiety was becoming noticeable and my mom suggested I take a break. But I couldn’t.  Taylor’s 10 she doesn’t understand anxiety, but she would easily understand if I told her we’d have to wait a bit before going on another ride, but I had to keep going.  If I took a break then there would be no going on another ride.  So we went on a ride called Mountain Glider, I think. Basically you lay on your stomach and they lock you down with a bat that goes down your whole body and the ride goes in a circle whilst moving you up and down.  In hindsight I should have known better.  I should have known that it was a bad idea.  I did it, but the whole time I was on it I had my one hand covering my eyes, and the other holding on to the bars as tight as I can.  Taylor on the other hand was having a great time.fairThat’s when my anxiety was put into overdrive. I was exhausted, tired, and had no energy left. I spent the rest of the afternoon hiding behind sunglasses, and my hair, and trying to keep up with my mom sister and niece.

I must be beyond frustrating to be around when I am super anxious.  I kind of shut down, I become super slow, I can’t make a decision to save my life, as I just don’t care anymore. I get super sleepy, and I certainly don’t want to talk about what’s wrong.

The rest of Saturday was spent out at my grandma’s with my family, we had dinner, cake, and hung out.

Then today (sunday) I paid for pushing my anxiety too far. I slept in until 10, took a shower, realized it was too cold to go down the river. Then I fell back asleep a little after 11. I woke up at three, did my hair and put on makeup hoping it’ll get my day started.  Nope, I fell back asleep, this time I didn’t wake up until after 7, when my mom came in to see if I wanted to run up to the store. So I did, and I’ve managed to stay awake this evening.  But it’s midnight now, and I’m still exhausted so I’m going to head off to bed.

So last time I talked about anxiety, I asked how you guys coped with an attack.  This time I’m curious.  Do any of you guys have to take time to “recover” after an anxiety attack?  I always sleep all day after extreme attacks, where as with the daily attacks I just go to bed early.

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