Today I woke up excited with my plans to go kayaking down the river with my family. We were supposed to leave at noon. Well 12 became 1 which quickly became 2 then 2:30 before we finally got to river. Which is frustrating, because I was going to go babysit after we got off, now there wasn’t time.
The babysitting thing was an easy fix I would just txt them as soon as I got off and head straight over. That was fine. Tay had a friend that was going so the girls were going to use tubes. Except the tube we brought turned out to have a hole in it or something. Meaning two people couldn’t go.
At this point anxiety had taken my frustration and shouted No one cares! No one cares that you wanted to go out two hours sooner. If we had we’d have known the tube was popped with enough time to get a new one. So my mom and I said we’d just skip and the girls could use our kayaks.
I was allowing my anxiety to ruin the whole day. Like I know that none of what happens today was anything planned and that no one thought “who cares what Johnnielynn wants” while they were doing their own thing. They didn’t even know that I was going to babysit. I was going to go home be annoyed wash the sunscreen off put on makeup and wait around till it was time to babysit.
Then my mom suggested me taking the girls to the beach while she ash and Zack went kayaking. The girls didn’t want to go in the kayak anyway so for them I agreed.
So now here I am sat at the beach writing this from my phone while the girls are swimming. Don’t worry I am watching them a lot more then I am writing. Listening to the waves and the girls being happy; my stress, and frustration is washed away. The anxiety is still there but it’s under control.
After that I went over to babysit some kiddos that I don’t quite get to see enough, my name was changed to girly by the 2 maybe three year old. I got tons of cuddles and the a text telling me to go out to my grandmas on my way back where we had a bon fire who’s is always fun.
I think it’s impossible to be unhappy at the beach. I love the beach. I could have let my anxiety ruin the day. Could have just gone home, been grumpy for a bit, then get over it. Instead I had a great day, then a great weekend as we went back to the beach…
Also sorry I’ve not been around for a bit, I’d like to blame the fact the my computers power cord broke and that was why… but thats not really the reason… I could blame it on my current Netflix obsession Supernatural. I can’t-won’t, because that’s not really the reason, I just couldn’t get myself to do it. I’ll try harder from now one. 😉 Thanks for being patient!